So there I was, sitting in my chair, reading something on my laptop. One of my kids was playing on the floor, and watching something on TV, some kids show. Suddenly, out of my peripheral vision:
BOOBIES!!!
Wait. What are boobies doing on a kids show. Oh, those aren't boobies. They're stacks of pancakes.
Yes, that's right, gentle readers. I thought that plates of pancakes were a pair of tits. Here's the commercial. Judge for yourselves.
I'm going insane. Or I'm really horny. Or hungry. Or all of the above.
I've been thinking about my last post. The one where I was casting doubts about whether or not my wife liked me. And I have come to the conclusion, after soul searching, that my response was a very knee-jerk one. One that came out being all dramatic, but didn't really paint a true picture. I responded with mostly the negative, because, here on this space, that is what I do, respond with the mostly negative. And for that, I want to apologize, to both my readers and my wife. In that context, it wasn't a fair or honest response.
I have no doubt, deep in my soul, that my wife loves me very much. She IS my best friend, despite the issues that we have. We have diverged from where we were when we were married over 20 years ago, but that happens. Despite not being perfectly in sync, we do work. We laugh together, work together, worry together, raise children together, cry together. When I come home, stressed from work, she is there (most days. We're a very busy family with a very complex schedule.)
It isn't a Ward and June Cleaver relationship. But, most days, it works pretty well.
Reader Jocelyn commented today:
Does your wife 'like' you, Rupert? I'm sorry if that's harsh but she seems to do everything she can to avoid spending time with you and that's not even mentioning the sex problems she has...and I do realize we only get your side of the story. I just feel sad to read this kind of entry so often.
My word verification is 'plays' - perhaps it's a hint?
Hiya, Jocelyn! And thanks for the question. Gives me something to write about!
Now, to answer your question, does my wife 'like' me? I think she does. Despite all that you read here in the blog, we really do get along well. We have the same basic philosophies about raising children, politics, and life in general. We spend our dinners laughing with our children. We enjoy vacationing in the same spots. She greets me every night with a hug and a kiss, and I leave every morning to the same treatment.
But, as I write this, does this really mean that she 'likes' me. If you look at our lives, we really do live them apart. We have no hobbies in common (other than our children, and that's not really a hobby). Our taste in music and movies are fairly far apart. In the evenings, after the children are in bed, we usually co-exist in the same room, but don't really talk or do anything together...I'm on my computer or reading, she's on her computer or reading or watching a Food Network show (with all the Food network she watches, you'd think she'd be a better cook!). We used to read the same sort of books, but we don't even do that any longer.
When you asked me this question, I thought it was an easy answer. Sure she likes me! How could she not? But, as I typed it out, suddenly I wasn't so sure. All I posted about was what we had in common, and not in common, not how I knew that she liked me. So how do I know? How do I know if someone likes me?
Hmm...
Had a long week last week. A change that was supposed to be routine blew up over the previous weekend, so my first week back from a few weeks vacation I ended up clocking about 20 hours overtime (as if I get overtime.)
I knew that I was going to have to work late Friday night, as well as for a few hours Saturday morning/afternoon, so I suggested to my wife that as a break we go out to the movies Saturday night. Thing 1 could watch Things 2 and 3, and we could both get a break, me from work and her from home.
She asked what movie I wanted to go see, and I suggested Avatar. I had seen it before in a crap theater where the 3D was off, and I wanted to see it again. I could tell she wasn't thrilled about this idea.
"Well, is there another movie you want to see? Or did you want to do something else?"
"No, that should be fine."
"Are you sure? I'm easy, we could see a different movie..."
"No, that's OK. Avatar is fine".
So Saturday rolls around. I remind her about our movie date, and she responds with an "Oh yeah..." as if she had forgotten. I told her we would catch a 7:00 show, but we needed to leave at 6:15 to get tickets and get to a spot in the middle of the theater (to maximize the 3D.) She responded with an OK, and I went off to work. Got home around 2, and was beat. Told her I was going to go lay don for a bit, and she should wake me in plenty of time.
"Don't forget, we have to leave here at 6:15, so make sure supper is ready well before then."
"Right."
"If you want, make something simple for the kids, and we'll eat popcorn and then get something afterwards."
Monosyllabic answers. I should have known I was in trouble.
I lay down, and wake up, and it's dark out. Squint at the clock, and it's five o'clock. Little later than I wanted, but...I get up, get dressed again, and find her in the kitchen.
"What did you decide for supper?"
"Oh, I have a chicken in the oven."
"Really? When did you put it in? Will we have enough time?"
"I think so. I put it in a while ago, it should be done before 6."
"That still doesn't give us much time..."
"We should be fine."
So 6:00 rolls around, and then 6:05, then finally she pulls the chicken out at 6:10. I have to wait for it to cool a bit before I can carve it, and we finally all sit down to eat at 6:20. Internally I am steaming. I eat, not tasting anything. After I finish:
"Guess we aren't going to be able to go to the movie, then."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess it took longer than I thought."
"Yeah. I can see that."
"I am sorry. But I'm pretty tired, I would probably just fall asleep in the movie anyway."
So I clear my plate, and go off, not speaking to her for the rest of the evening.
Now many of you may be thinking that this is just a simple mistake, that she just messed up her timing. But this is just an example of her usual deliberate passive/aggressive bullshit that she always pulls when I ask her to do something that she doesn't want to do.
If she had told me, right at the beginning of the day, I really don't want to go to the movies tonight, I would have been OK with it. If nothing else, I would have had the option to either go by myself, or call up a friend and go. But instead she did it in a way that just pissed me off, and ended up messing up my evening as well. And that's what made me all petulant for a couple of days.
So my take on it is, that I am no longer going to make the effort to try and go out with her. If she is happier staying at home rather than going out with me, so be it. I will start to make my plans not including her, just letting her know when I will be out. If she wants to go out, I will listen to any offers she may want to make.
Wonder if I should put up a timer for that...
OK. So I came across this article today being discussed on a forum that I frequent:
Teacher's aide asked to resign over nude photo
(Quick synopsis for those of you that don't want to read the full article: A teacher's aid was pretty much forced to resign after her phone was swiped and a topless photo of her on it was forwarded to some of the students at the school.)
So I mentioned this to my wife, and I how I thought it was such a crock that she was being forced to resign over this. She didn't forward the picture, it wasn't done at school, it wasn't anything that she did.
And my wife thought it was perfectly acceptable that the school fire her. Because "Why would she want to have a nude picture of herself on the phone? What kind of people take nude pictures of themselves?"
I sat there, dumbfounded. Gamely, I soldiered on.
"So...if I asked you for a nude photo of yourself, you wouldn't give it to me?"
"Good god no! That's disgusting!!!"
"Why is it disgusting?"
"Because the only reason for taking a picture of yourself nude is...well, I don't want to think about it. Regardless of why she had the picture, the kids at the school wouldn't respect the teacher any longer, so she should be fired."
"Now wait a second...suppose that some kid sneaked up to her house, snapped a picture of her in the nude, and sent it on to their friends...would that be any different?
"Yes, because she would then be perceived as a victim."
"And you don't perceive her as a victim here, because her phone was stolen and the private picture was forwarded by someone else?"
"No, I perceive her as a slut because she had a nude picture of herself on the phone."
At this point I just shook my head and dropped the subject. You see what I'm working with here, folks???
I know. I posted this last year. But I think I need to make it a tradition.
My apologies to all of my blogger friends for dropping off the face of the earth. I think of you all quite often, but real life has just been way too in my face for the past six months to be able to devote the time and energy to the blog, and to keeping up with yours.
But regardless, I wish you and all of yours a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. I'll try and be around more next year. Here's hoping it's a good one!
No wonder I couldn't get laid in high school!!!
(Yes, I am still alive, and yes, I owe everyone a few real posts. Real life has been kicking my ass recently. I'll be back soon. Promise!)